Sex: The Ultimate Zen The one problem with something being lost is the feeling one has for the object once it is gone. That felling of need and longing just creates pain. One could get rid of pain and loss if one could detach one’s self from these tokens. All emotional pain and suffering could be obliterated if one could think of all things, even people, as just things that come and go. This is not an excuse not to care about anybody. It is just a way not to wreck one’s life after something important has left. Sometimes, when a family member or spouse dies, people mourn for an unhealthy amount of time