The director walked onto the stage, gingerly adjusting his radiation mask in order to fit the microphone beneath it. His nervous cough boomed through the hall. After shuffling the papers on the podium before him, he began. "Welcome ladies and gentlemen of the Pre-Apocalypse Archaeological Society. We have called this session to impart to you a matter of the utmost importance, a discovery of the highest order. As you are aware, our teams have only recently been able to sift through the debris of the razed cities of our belligerent predecessors, thanks to the efforts of our colleagues at the Physical Resear